Going Up?

Does this scenario sound familiar? It’s the start of the work day, you have your coffee in hand, and you board the elevator. You’re tired, you just endured a long commute, and you know you have a busy day ahead. MadMenElevatorScene

When you’re confined to a small place with other human beings, it requires a special type of etiquette to keep the ride pleasant and moving.

First off, maintain a quiet tone. It’s early, people are tired. Speak softly and it’s bound to be appreciated by those around you.

Secondly, if you’re feeling chatty, stick to a topic that easy, breezy. To master the small talk, pick a topic that’s simple and appropriate during your ascent. You can’t go wrong with the weather. “Wow, can you believe how beautiful the weekend was? Did you get outdoors?”

No one wants to discuss work topics before they reach their desk. Be courteous and give colleagues a chance to settle in at their computers before jumping on them first thing in the morning.

Finally, take notice of your fellow riders. If they give one-word answers and don’t fully make contact, chances are they don’t wish to engage in friendly banter. A simple smile and “good morning” are plenty. And if things get a little crowded, always step aside to let people off.

The morning commute doesn’t end when you enter your office building; it ends when you step off the elevator.  

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Look Me in the Eye – or Can You?

The other night, while I was having dinner with my friend, there were two young women seated next to us. As my friend and I were enjoying a nice meal and stimulating dinner conversation, we noticed our “neighbors” weren’t saying a word to each other. Why, you ask? They were texting!

No, they weren’t texting each other. They were messaging other friends (or boyfriends), and carrying on separate, “silent” conversations. They did momentarily converse with one another to compare messages and have a giggle. But through it all, they didn’t look each other in the eye.

That got me thinking how little eye contact there is left. When I’m on the subway pressed against my fellow straphangers, we don’t look at each other. You see the tops of people’s heads because they’re playing games on their phones or they’re reading their Kindles.

If you’re seated at the bar waiting for a friend to arrive, you don’t make eye contact with people; you gaze at your phone, perusing the Web or checking your text messages. Don’t be surprised if the number of people meeting in bars has gone down. Instead of people checking you out, they’re checking themselves “in” on Facebook or FourSquare.iPhoneTexting

So where do you draw the line? Is it possible for people to balance digital and face-to-face conversations in their social lives?

With all the distractions our smartphones have (e.g. camera, Internet, SMS, games, apps, social media), there’s just too much temptation. Unless some type of etiquette is set, interpersonal communication will continue to be disrupted.

Perhaps restaurants (like gyms and movie theaters) can discourage the use of mobile phones. Or they can establish mobile-free zones, much like the old days of smoking and non-smoking sections.

Otherwise, “social” settings will be anything but.